The Funniest Tech interpretation, Out of 60, How many do you know?

Suppose you are a girl, u & ur boyfriend long-distance relationship, you call every night to check in & ask him if he still loves you, this is called ping.
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Suppose you are a girl, you have a boyfriend, and at the same time, you and another guy are ambiguous, better than friends, and not lovers. You can always dump the current boyfriend, and the other one will immediately fill in. This is the cold backup.

Let’s say you are a girl and you are dating two men at the same time, both of whom are your boyfriends. And they also do not interfere with each other and run independently. This is the dual hot backup.

Let’s say you are a girl, restless with the security your boyfriend gives you. You keep in touch with a guy in a distant boyfriend unknown place, you tell him you don’t have a boyfriend, you are in a tangled period, and once you and your boyfriend are separated, you can immediately transfer your feelings to the guy in a different place. This is an off-site disaster tolerant backup.

Suppose you are a girl, have a boyfriend, and you pay a marriage agency to keep an eye out for good resources for you, once you and this boyfriend of yours are separated, the marriage agency immediately arranges resources for you, and your feelings run uninterrupted, this is cloud backup

Suppose you are a sister, you doubt your boyfriend’s loyalty to you, and buy a test loyalty service on Amazon. This is the disaster drill. Friendly reminder, in the absence of backup, does not do disaster drills, say bad will make your data bloodless.

Suppose you are a girl, you and your boyfriend long-distance relationship, you call every night to check-in and ask him if he still loves you anymore, this is called ping.

Suppose you are a girl, your boyfriend often plays missing, so you want to always keep track of his whereabouts, you first call his good friend A, A said good friend B know, B said good friend C know, C said good friend D know, D said your boyfriend is playing games in Internet cafes, you finally know where your boyfriend is, this is called TraceRoute.

Suppose you are a girl, your boyfriend is addicted to the game and often does not answer the phone for no reason down, so when you are about to go shopping in the afternoon after you have to call from time to time to ask, to see if he can still provide normal service, this is called heartbeat monitoring.

Suppose you are a girl, you want to go shopping and your boyfriend A is playing a game and does not answer the phone, so when you send the shopping request to the replacement boyfriend B, so as to protect the service uninterrupted operation, this is called failover.

Suppose you are a girl, you have a lot of things that need to be done by your boyfriend, so then you go shopping with A travel dinner indescribable, and B can only accompany you shopping, can not have all the rights of the boyfriend, this is called master-slave configuration.

Suppose you are a girl, you lose so much that your boyfriend can not eat, so you find two boyfriends, one three five single, two four six double limits, thus reducing the pressure faced by a boyfriend, this is called load balancing.

Assuming you are a girl and have multiple boyfriends, heartbeat detection and failover and load balancing will achieve the ultimate experience, this is called cluster LVS, note that when the demand can be handled by a single machine is not recommended to enable the cluster, it will cause a lot of idle resources and increase maintenance costs.

Suppose you are a girl, your needs are getting higher and higher resulting in a boyfriend cluster that can no longer handle, so then you add another few, which is called multi-cluster horizontal expansion, referred to as a multi-cluster grid.

Suppose you are a girl, your boyfriend’s body is thin and thus can not meet the demand, so you buy a lot of big supplement products to help your boyfriend upgrade, thus increasing the capacity of a single machine, this is called vertical expansion, Scale-up. remember, the cost of vertical expansion will become higher and higher and the effect is less and less obvious.

Suppose you are a girl, you and your boyfriend often go out to play, the depths of love want to do something when but suffer from no tt, to go to the supermarket to buy, so then you often go in your place are placed tt, thus greatly reducing the waiting time, this is called CDN.

Suppose you are a girl, your boyfriend is handsome, suave, and wealthy to your only, so you are met with female B hostility, B will request your boyfriend in the name of friends on the weekend to repair the computer, repair the refrigerator, take up a lot of time for your boyfriend, causing your boyfriend can not serve you, this is called a denial of service attack, referred to as DOS.

Suppose you are a girl, your boyfriend is hostile to a woman, but your boyfriend’s processing power is very strong, processing speed has been higher than her request speed, so she hired a female to take turns to trouble your boyfriend, this is called distributed denial of service attack, DDOS for short.

Suppose you are a girl, you find that your boyfriend is always dealing with some irrelevant other requests, so then you give your boyfriend a whitelist, asking him to deal only with whitelist requests, and reject the requests of other unidentified people, which is called access control.

Suppose you are a girl, you submit your boyfriend’s cheating report to his parents, and get their strong support, the boyfriend’s parents began to strictly discipline him, the deadline for rectification, to protect your love, to do reasonable, legal compliance, this is called the level of protection.

Suppose you are a girl, you are a little far from your boyfriend’s home, you drive there, this is called self-built special line, you take a taxi to go there, this is called renting special line, you ride a motorcycle to go there, this is called SDWAN.

Suppose you are a girl, you and your boyfriend’s relationship is opposed by both parents, and you are not allowed to communicate with each other, you secretly dug a tunnel to facilitate the rendezvous, this is called VPN.

Suppose you are a girl, your boyfriend is too good and makes people peep, so then they study your boyfriend, slightly modified a little bit to produce a boyfriend B, and your boyfriend 99% similar, this is not called plagiarism, this is called reverse engineering, such as boyfriend plug-in.

Suppose you are a girl, you ask your boyfriend to hold on for ten minutes, then fifteen minutes, and then twenty minutes to test where your boyfriend’s limit is, this is called stress testing.

Suppose you are a girl, in order to ensure that your boyfriend’s normal operation, so when you check his WeChat microblogging and other social data every day to find clues that may produce problems, this is called data analysis.

Suppose you are a girl, your boyfriend belongs to the socially active players, the daily microblogging Zhihu WeChat produced a lot of information, you find yourself analyzing the speed is much lower than the speed of his birth, so then you get your best friend to analyze together, this is called parallel computing.

Suppose you are a girl, your boyfriend is too tossed around to produce the amount of information to be processed, you and your girlfriends have been tired of lying down also did not catch up with the speed of his creation, so you paid in Zhihu to find 20 partners to help you analyze together, this is called cloud computing.

Suppose you are a girl, you get the boyfriend often out of the location, according to the hotel, sensitive time period and other information to determine the boyfriend should be cheating, this is called data mining.

Suppose you are a girl, after analyzing your boyfriend’s data, you learn that he is going out for a room again in the afternoon, so then you send him a text message before he is ready to go out, asking him if he has brought tt, if not, you can buy it from me, this is called precision pushing, need to cooperate with data mining.

If you are a girl, your boyfriend should always go out and have all kinds of problems, so when you rent a room and prepare all the things needed and tell him, no need to find a hotel, come directly to my house, everything is ready, this is called the container.

If you are a girl, you have to open the interface with your boyfriend once a day to collect data. You keep picking up 24 hours a day, this is called real-time data collection. You decide to develop a new interface to communicate with your boyfriend, which is called virtualization. You decide to collect data from different boyfriends and you are the big data center. One day you decide to have a baby, it’s called a big data application. The baby is born without knowing who it belongs to, it’s called big data desensitization. But from the appearance of the baby, black skin, and blond hair, it’s called data fusion cross-domain modeling. You decide to bring this baby to the exhibition to collect some tickets, this is called big data real estate.

If there are many girl boyfriends, you can’t even look at them, you can’t use them and you can’t remember them, so you can pick out the most typical, essential, and potential ones, which is called data simplification. As for how to pick, use the data simplification technique.

Suppose you are a girl, your boyfriend is suave, you are always worried about him cheating, so you installed a bugging qi on him, which has a built-in library of features of some suspicious girls hooking up behavior, as long as there is suspected of being hooked up, it will immediately alert you, this is called intrusion detection system (IDS).

Suppose you are a girl, you improve the above Wiretaps when the suspicious female to your boyfriend to make hookup behavior, immediately release 10,000 volts, the suspicious person knocked out, to terminate this hookup. This is called an intrusion prevention system (IPS).

Suppose you are a girl, although you installed a variety of eavesdropping qi, alarm, your blue friends everywhere, the alarm sounded non-stop, so you are overwhelmed and exhausted, so you engage in a device to focus on collecting these cheating alarms, a comprehensive analysis, to generate your boyfriend’s cheating report. This is called SIEM or SOC.

DiskMFR Field Sales Manager - Leo

It’s Leo Zhi. He was born on August 1987. Major in Electronic Engineering & Business English, He is an Enthusiastic professional, a responsible person, and computer hardware & software literate. Proficient in NAND flash products for more than 10 years, critical thinking skills, outstanding leadership, excellent Teamwork, and interpersonal skills.  Understanding customer technical queries and issues, providing initial analysis and solutions. If you have any queries, Please feel free to let me know, Thanks

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